"these days of glory, being alive on this planet with the filth, hatred, violence, and all the unhappiness is tolerable because i believe in you. you're there. walking up every street i don't turn on. behind every door i don't open... you're alive on this dirty rock. maybe you were born today or you're one hundred and twelve years old. you exist."

- my dear, sweet friend, jon dambacher

sour candies

"i am someone who is looking for love. real love. ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love"

-carrie bradshaw

i like lists

stumbled across this little gem in the interwebs world today.

i'll be 30 in 102 days (not that i'm counting or anything). let's see how many of these i can knock out in the next fifteen weeks.

By 30, you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend with-out ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go—be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat—when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30!

change

/tʃeɪndʒ/ Show Spelled [cheynj] Show IPA verb, changed, chang·ing, noun

verb (used with object)

 

1. to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion; to change the course of history.

 

2. to transform or convert (usually followed by into)

 

3. to substitute another or others for; exchange for something else, usually of the same kind

 

 

 

to transform.

hoping that's what comes of all of this.

dis·ci·pline

/ˈdɪs ə plɪn/ Show Spelled [dis-uh-plin] Show IPA noun, verb, dis·ci·plined, dis·ci·plin·ing.

noun

 

1. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.

"i thought i'd carry my love for you forever. i thought it was a forever sort of thing. i'd resolved myself to that. i didn't think it'd stop me from loving others, i just thought it would live in me, mostly silent, mostly private. and so the loss of that love--well, there is a death in that. and a sadness to that death. but a birth, too.

the opposite of love is not hate. it's just the absence of it. the vacuum where it once was."

-meg certainly has a way with words

"remember: you don't want to fall in love, being submissive to it, defenseless, giving in to it. you want to stand in love, together, separate, unique in your individuality, shoulder to shoulder."

-jd

my dear, dear friend.

"love liberates it doesn't bind. love says 'i love you'. i love you if you are in china. i love you if you are across town. i love you if you're in harlem. i love you. i would like to be near you...i'd like to have your arms around me...i'd like to hear your voice in my ear. but that's not possible now. so, i love you. go."  - maya angelou

who's the man? i'm the man!

i hadn't heard of this film until heather recommended it.

i'm not much of a movie person. in fact, the thought of having to sit still and be silent for over and hour makes me anxious. what can is say...i like to talk!

but, this film was beautiful and i left the theater last night in tears.

if it's playing near you - go see it!

The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.

- Stephen King

“You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.”  - Tinkerbell

"I don't want just words. If that's all you have for me, you'd better go."

F. Scott Fitzgerald

i like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.  - dr. seuss

"love hard when there is love to be had."

-bob marley

"if you want to know where your heart is look where your mind goes when it wanders.”

- unknown