Thursday, February 16, 2012

gone tanning. be right back

before you roll your eyes, let me preface this by saying i'm of mixed descent.
yes. i'm aware the other half of this mix is black - but there are indeed times when the tan on my arms just don't match non existent tan on my legs.
my tanning obsession kind of started like this:

i'm a little infatuated with toddlers and tiaras
(yes. i know. i didn't say this was something i'm proud of)
and somehow i've been brainwashed to not only look at little kids and quietly say:

"she could really use mascara and some blush"

but i've begun to think the only way i'm going to be glitz is if i'm fully tanned, made up, and flashing my best toothless toothy grin.

oh. so back to my story. i was getting ready to go to this swanky little shindig that the laca was hosting. yours truly would be hanging up her 7 jeans and chuck taylors for the night and trading them in for a sparkly dress and some heels.

needless to say...i needed to go tanning. asap.

me: will you go tanning with me?
kelly: tanning? why!?
me: because i'm too embarrassed afraid to go by myself!
kelly: no. why are you going tanning?! you're black!
me: technicalities

kelly suggests a tanning salon and we jump in my car and head over to zen glow.
the guy behind the counter looks at me funny when we walk in.
err..or maybe that was just my imagination.
i tell him i'm a tanning virgin.
he looks at me and probably whispers, "ya think?"

kelly suggests i go to a level 4 bed.
i have no idea what this means.
i ask kelly how long these things last.
kelly explains 10 minutes.
i worry that i'll get claustrophobic.
kelly assures me i won't.
i ask if i'm supposed to take all my clothes off.
kelly looks at me like i'm crazy.
i assume that means yes.
i start to get nervous as i can hear my mom's voice in my head saying:

"lo-ri. don't lay too ma-ch in da sun. you will get dark. just because you are hap black, you don hap to get darker"
(yes. my mom is filipino. yes. my mom has an accent)
but what does mom know? she used to spend her sundays in the philippines bleaching her skin. so not glitz.

i make my way into room 5 and crawl into the tanning bed.
this thing is magical! it's just like laying down in a meadow in the summertime.
well...not really but i think i'm addicted.

sorry mom.

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